My Life as A River

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The Darkness Between Lights

How Much of Me Do You Need?

I am the forlorn spirit
a burdened dimension
shaped by wintry flows
of an invisible presence
I float in galactic hordes
engraving sun burnished
planks against walls of forever
in my obscure phases
I lament over indigo pools
of long quivering tears
miserably reflecting loss
or my belabored doubts
for any future spark
in fuels of friendly mercy

 

buried deep beneath
my stark—lonely essence
of cold vacant quietude
lie flint skeletons of fear
my dauntless journeys
scribble across stary maps
arching ghostly swarms
across a purple cloak
of my vast undyed void
phantoms of barren nights
attempt to suck away
my exhausted valor
by squelching candles
warming faces of hope

 

I tread on evil and good
I wound—and I heal
I'm a decaying carcass
and a developing oak
the last fall sunset
and first spring sunrise
a porcelain winter of demise
an emerald summer of love
I'm a fermenting brew
of fractured yesterdays
and the fresh rising yeasts
of fierce tomorrows
I weep in profane vanity
while I praise any humility

 

I dot with morning dews
a naked encircling vortex
of fresh spider webs
entropy becomes my cohort
as I inscribe harsh stories
in rings of tree trunks
spirals of seashells
sheets of ancient ice
layers of sediments
plates of stonework
stains of rising oceans
the decay of isotopes
and fading memories
under wrinkles on faces

 

celestial forges of silver
masked in dusty nurseries
pound out gasses to ignite
greener redeeming stars
that birth younger lights
between senescent lights
my almanac of control
shuffles every agenda
while stamping success
I shape wild nebulas
of foaming impatience
then rain down cobalt
skies of procrastination
or callous indifference

 

I count out bars of music
while consuming all color
my brushes of white light
can paint your canvass
in black smudges of past
or scores of shadowy grays
my spaces in-between
fill of missed opportunities
but when you misplace
lost reason or purpose
or if you can't unearth
your path back home
I will safely return you
even though I'm homeless

 

while your absolute world
walks along mossy ledges
I revolve more relative
becoming a chrome relative
upon your tender skin
with promises of a land
beyond old numbing days
my bright constellations
chart alabaster courses
through unknown waters
as you focus on oracles
of steadier divine lights
beams to ease your pains
from my entangled cords

 

inside my vacuum nucleus
of knotted perseverance
lies sharp measuring tapes
like highways in the mists
peppered with cities
of infinite specks of light
stitched together by
gravity and dark matter
I still attempt to matter
to each one of them
that gracefully wander
around vast galaxies I set
between my insecurities
of life and of death

 

estranged in my silent
corners of solitude
I stretch and contract
in the mystery of motions
and the stanzas of mass
entangled within gravity
and bound inside wells
of innumerable legacies
I dilate in pits of blackness
where a strange universe
waits to drink away my spirit
into loftier dimensions
filled with hopeful fluids
of my greatest memories

 

and you may monetize me
but in the end finale
I will surely cash you out
each finite chain of triumph
is built upon links of error
and the merciful touches
of dedicated teachers
experts who can heal
workers who create
volunteers who serve
and sinners who turn
into the poets or writers
who think they know more
than patient—loving families

 

if you sink into dark seas
and are grappled in tentacles
of my tarantula clutch
you can still find crystal suns
hanging in bottomless oceans
of ever-flowing futures
you can still stand out
as a solitary pixel dancing
in plays—I constantly direct
estranged from the pasts
of what you once lived
I will ignite any desolation
by carving up your darkness
with my dagger of dawn

 

and with a patient touch
of one special radiant star
in the cosmos of friends
you will thrive again—
an oxide of the creator
an element of all water
a base for every color
a pillar bearing wisdom
a catalyst of kindness
an ember sparking warmth
a seed to diverse stars
and a stimulus for love
safe from any mortal ages
and immune to my pasts

 

but now—I must learn to
gait in limited squares
as I inhale the lights
and soak up the darkness
I will respire all choice
and the freedom to become
your own star of conviction
for my solitary realm sits
within one chamber of now
illuminated by stars of life
pacing between anxious spirits
of your prolonged before
and the awaiting spirits
of your endless hereafter

 

and now you recognize me
—— for I am Time ——
and like your dry bones—
I will eventually die
along with my history in
ashes of obscure darkness
and deep sepulchers of pain
but my undeniable demise
will remain permanent
and leave you soaring on
in quiet realms—abounding
in colossal trees of renewal
to become eternal lights
of enduring peace and joy